World renowned fashion designer Tessa Renee has been causing quite a stir with her new fashion line targeted at teens, tweens, twenties, and hunnies.

We were lucky enough to be graced with her presence for this exclusive Almost Real Things interview with Zachary Zulch. View her specially curated “Betch Tease” line only available in our Almost Real Things Shop.

Tessa glides in, right hand firmly grasping a chic porcelain coffee mug and saucer, undoubtedly gifted to her by the local barista. Her carefully crafted outfit floats effortlessly on her petite frame, and if her clothes could speak I’m sure they would express their excitement at being chosen from her endless wardrobe. I stand to greet her and she introduces herself with a giggle. She smells of artisanal lavender honeysuckle and takes a seat in the designer lounge I just rose from. I readjust my workspace and begin the interview.

What made you choose fashion?

It was around the time I realized how horrendously awful the average person looks in everyday life. So around 5 years old. The next year my dad gave me a $50,000 investment and sent my designs to China to make it happen. That’s like, true American capitalism if you ask me.

“From RAGS to RICHES Betches!”

Where do you find inspiration?

I pull a lot from my life experiences and my relationship with my nearly divorced parents. Sometimes it’s important to just rebel. It’s like they always say, well behaved women rarely make history.

It seems like you only use Helvetica in your designs. Is there a reason?

Helvetica, to me, is simply the most basic font. It’s almost primal instinct to choose it, right? It has that vanilla flavor that really speaks to every betch.

Who are your influences?

I’m very into J&B Productions right now. Their use of found objects and materials has such a global sensitivity. Also classics like Yamamachi Threds, Dedier Willshaun, and so on.

They’re some of my favs. But onto Betch Tease. How you come up with the phrases?

My designs are all based on the philosophies of my BFFs and me. I’m a big fan of living in the moment so I usually just text my assistant my ideas. I believe that everything will work out exactly the way it’s destined to be. That’s why I never spell-check or edit any of my work.

How do you choose your models?

I truly believe that there are no ugly women, only lazy ones. I think “Helene” Keller said that. Anyway, basically whoever has thrown up most recently gets picked. That’s how you get the best body.

Is this a female-exclusive line?

I don’t associate with gender classifications. But our shirts only go from size xx-small to medium so you can’t be bigger than that.

Where are your shirts made?

All of our shirts are proudly manufactured by only the highest quality Chinese laborers.

I’m curious about you as a person. What do you do in your free time?

I like to go people watching because it gives me so many opportunities to say “eww.” Why don’t people just try harder? Like, seriously. I find great joy in browsing Tinder to lead guys on. Just girly things.

Do you eat?

I live on kale chips and rain water kombucha but occasionally I’ll splurge on cold pressed PSL froyo. Did you know frozen yogurt doesn’t have any calories?

I’m not sure that’s right. Anyway, what can we expect from you and Betch Tease in the future?

My same groundbreakingly genius creative output will plague me for the rest of my life.

Last thing—and everyone’s been wondering about this for a while—can men be betches?

Only if they’re born that way. Once a betch, always a betch!

Photos courtesy of Betch Tease LTD.

Production Assistant: Clark Meyer


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