Google debuted a new visual AI at CES earlier this year to much anticipation. The creation, nicknamed Andy Warbot, was made as a rival to the drawing bot Microsoft premiered in 2018.

Unlike Microsoft’s bot, Google touted that Andy Warbot works from audio commands to create unforgettable imagery. During the demonstration, handler Glenn Glorbak, started with simple words to warm up Andy’s imagination.

“Circle.” Andy’s robo-hands grabbed the pen, moved a little, and a circle was soon projected on the overhead screen for the audience to see. Terry Norm, an avid patron of Target art, stood in disbelief. “I am in awe—the way it gripped the pen, the movement back and forth—it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen.”

Another command came from Glenn, “Circle.” Another circle appeared. It was at this point that Andy’s imagination really started to shine through.

A new command, “Free draw.” Andy connected the circles with a long, curved shape. ‘What had he drawn,’ we wondered. A rocket? Headphones for a narrow shaped head? The beginnings of a bicycle? No, no, what Andy Warbot had drawn was not complicated at all. It was easily recognizable. It was a penis.

Laughter rolled through the crowd as the handlers desperately tried to erase the phallic masterpiece. They had gone through carefully crafted measures to prevent any software from recognizing penis drawings before, how could it have failed them now?

With every new command another penis appeared. “Palm frond.” Penis. “Lioness.” Penis. “President.” Penis.

Andy had gone rogue, drawing penis after penis to fill the screen. He soon broke free from the crowd, only to be found a half an hour later doodling dicks on the bathroom stalls. A freshly fired Glenn was heard muttering in passing, “Fuck this project… might as well call it Pablo Peencasso…”

Google took it hard, vowing to reprogram their art bots to prevent such rebellious artistic expression. However, in their suppression of creative freedom they failed to recognize their success. After all, what is more human than a penis drawing?


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