The Perks of Having No Money

By: Natalie Earhart

¬†Experiment with food you’ve been saving for a natural disaster

A bowl of Cheerios for dinner is sad, but a bowl of salad with homemade Cheerio croutons is a meal. Have fun with this but be cautious. Remember, Sriracha is an accompaniment to a meal, not the main ingredient.

Get up whenever you want

What time is it? Who cares. Money is time but you don’t have money so that phrase is irrelevant.

Straddle the line between stealing and taking what’s rightfully yours

In the times you find yourself overworked and underpaid, the thought of getting a little more from our job starts to make sense. This can be a dangerous thought, but one worth exploring, especially when your boss shrugs and responds “I guess,” when you ask to take a break during your seven hour shift. Alright then, I guess I’ll help myself to all of the lightbulbs in this place because my room is dark and I only have so many candles left.

Find out how much free shit there is out there

Why did you ever pay for Sriracha when P.Terry’s ketchup is free?

Realize you can live with less

You don’t really need anything. Well, food maybe. Water too. Shelter would be nice. And that tiny disco hall you’ve had your eye on. Maybe an extra pair of pants since yours have an egg-shaped hole near your inner thigh. Regardless, you can’t afford anything. So you watch the documentary “Minimalism” as it buffers on PopcornFlix and congratulate yourself for being ahead of the curve.

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