1Sorcerer’s Stone

The OG. First in the lot and still hanging on. Due to his old age, is slow to food and often left hungry by faster birds.

2Chamber of Secrets

Mysterious. Sits in the back of the parking lot watching. Has secrets, obviously.

3Prisoner of Azkaban

Aggressive. Weeks of pent-up rage make this bird most likely to attack customers near the HEB entrance.

4Goblet of Fire

Competitive. The reason the other birds have to move fast, you turn everything into a race.

5The Order of the Phoenix

Purity. The last good bird in a parking lot full of trash, pick-up trucks, and other evil.

6The Half Blood Prince

Dramatic. This gossipy bird is always stirring something up, and is the reason the other birds can’t get along.


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